On January 11, one “dog-walker” in Seattle posted a Craigslist advertisement offering his services to “rich-ass dog owners.”
The lengthy—and hilarious!—advert has amused a lot of netizens. One site even called it the “Great American Craigslist Ad.”
The advertisement says:
HEY RICH-ASS DOG OWNERS:
Are you at the office 23 hours a day in a coke-fueled effort to squeeze every last penny out of your 20’s and 30’s?
Are you going out of town with your post-divorce trophy-girlfriend to visit your slave ship collection in the Barbados?
Do you work for a corporation that received Tarp money?
I AM YOUR DOG-WALKER
I am the most radical, bitching, mind blowing dog- walking experience in all of Seattle. All dogs are STOKED when I’m around, regardless of breed or sex. Your dog is gonna be on me like Charlie Sheen on a porn star mad on amphetamines; when I’m ascending toward penthouse suite in your private elevator, bitch’s nipples are gonna be ROCK HARD.
Do I have experience walking dogs?
I’M A HUMAN BEING, OF COURSE I HAVE EXPERIENCE WALKING DOGS. THIS ISN’T LINEAR ALGEBRA, FOLKS; ITS DOG-WALKING
The heroic rant continues. Other people found it quite amusing as well and deemed it the latest “great American Craigslist ad.”
Possibly the best craigslist ad ever. I WILL WALK YOUR DOG. http://t.co/wAxEGwCen0
— Jenny Blackburn (@blackburnjenny) January 15, 2015
But when asked for a comment, the “dog-walker” revealed the heartbreaking truth.
Ummm… I posted this as a joke. I have surprisingly gotten people that want me to walk their dogs. Ive got more marriage proposals and offers for sex more than anything. I prefer to remain anonymous but i will tell you that I am married with a daughter and contrary to my post(that is a joke) I make a comfortable living and I’m pretty much your average joe family man. The reason I posted it is to show what happens when you go to college and stack up student loans and dont have a plan afterwards. you’ll turn out having to walk dogs with a shitty outlook on society. The moral of this story is that nothing on the internet is ever true. Sorry, guys.
Awww. That’s sad but here is a screenshot of the advert for when it gets taken down:
Source: Mother Jones